adoption & haiti

Yes! We are still in the adoption process (click here for that post) for a child from the US. 

Yes! We will take the child with us to Haiti.  

Just thought I'd lay that out there in case you wanted to stop reading there.

Johnny and I feel that God has led us to adopt from the US, so at this point, we are continuing that process.  We have a wonderful adoption agency, Lifeline, who is supportive of our move! Because we will not have permanent visas in Haiti, we will have to come back to the US pretty often, allowing for a possible open adoption to be continued.  

We also have a wonderfully supportive staff at Children's Hope that will allow us to come back and stay once we are placed with the child.  We will then stay until a court date (average of a month or two I think) to make him/her officially ours and then apply for a passport! So there's the short version of all that.

Some of you have asked if we plan to adopt a Haitian child. My answer is pretty generic and vague, but it's the best I can do right now. God has led us to adopt from the US and we are in the middle of that process, and so we are just doing what we know to be His will right now.  Not to say it may not happen one day, but we have to take things one step at a time and move there first!  :) 

We are so ready to hold a sweet one in our arms, and we know the wait may be longer than we would have chosen, but we are so confident that our Father will sustain us during these hard days. He has taught us so much through this process, and we are sure that He is still working in our waiting.  

Please continue to pray for us during this time of moving, but also that we would continue to trust our faithful Father and His plan for our family.  We long for the day when we will be able to look back on these years and be able to see what He was up to! 

Haiti

"In my own experience I have found that the most extravagant dreams 

of boyhood have not surpassed the great experience of being 

in the will of God, and I believe that nothing could be better. 

That is not to say that I do not want other things, and other ways of living, 

and other places to see, but in my right mind 

I know that my hopes and plans for myself could not be any

 better than He has arranged and fulfilled them. 

Thus may we all find it, and know the truth of the Word which says, 

He will be our guide even until death." 

-Jim Elliot

For a while now, Johnny has been telling me things like, "I think it's getting closer. I think the Lord may be moving us. I don't know where or when, but I think it's coming."  But I would generally brush this off and change the subject.  I was happy where I was in our little town, with our wonderful church, in our comfy home, "patiently" awaiting our first child to come to us through adoption. I was good.  But in my heart I knew that if the Johnny was hearing from the Lord correctly, it would only be a matter of time.  So I began to seek the Lord as well; in a much more general sense, and honestly, didn't think He would answer so quickly. And clearly.

It was about seven weeks ago. Johnny was about to leave for Haiti with a mission team from Westview and had to pick up some bags to take with the team in Montgomery. We had just left the funeral of an amazing man of God, who devoted his life to making disciples of all nations and his trust and confidence in who God is was so convicting and encouraging to us.  Johnny and I left that funeral amazed by the Lord and His Sovereignty even through the death of this dear one.  I clearly remember thinking at that funeral "Lord, you are worth giving everything for.  Our true reward in this life is You!" So we went to pick up the bags and were handed this news: "There's this new opportunity in Haiti…and I think you guys need to really pray about it," my flesh immediately said, "No, that's TOO hard." I didn't want to pray about it. Of course I loved Haiti. Our time there in April was amazing and it was one of the greatest trips I've ever been on! But move there? Be in charge of all that?! I can't do that. 

But Johnny kept reminding me, "You can't. He can."  The last few months have been FULL of moments like this...where I experienced my extreme inadequacy in situations.  Help start a new Sunday School class? Too hard. Counsel women in crisis pregnancy situations? No way. Help lead a women's ministry?  I felt God call me to each of these, but KNEW I had to rely on Him for each one.  

So as Johnny left for Haiti, I was left with quiet days alone. It was during this time that I was reminded of who God truly was.  I was studying to teach Sunday School on Jehovah-Jireh, the Lord will Provide. I saw how amazing it was that not only does this name emphasize that He will provide, but that He sees our need in advance and is already providing for things we don't even know we need.  In my daily reading, I was learning of the Israelites and how when the pillar of cloud/fire moved, they were to move. And where it stayed, they were to stay.  I saw how God took care of His people in the big transitions of life, as well as every tiny little issue of what that would mean for them.  He paid attention to the small details of the place where His glory would dwell.  I spent that week trying to come up with a reason not to go to Haiti. And then I realized most of my "reasons" were all having to do with physical stuff. My stuff. My house. My acquired possessions.  And every time one of those came to mind, I was gently reminded that was not a reason to be disobedient. It was just stuff.

I'm not sure if I was completely sold by the time Johnny got home, but I definitely felt like my faith was being tested.  Refined.  Purified. And I was so thankful for that.  My sweet husband is an amazing leader of our family and it is a great joy to put trust in his leadership.  But he has given me time to hear from God on this as well.  He has waited patiently for me to accept this plan for our family.  He has encouraged me in my weakness and loved me through my selfishness.  

I know some of you are thinking, "Don't you think you made this decision kind of quick?" or "Did you just say yes to the first thing that came your way?"  I felt that way a little too, until I realized that this situation is not one in isolation.  Our lives have been full of divine circumstances, leading us to this point.  None of the past is an accident.  And I wish I could tell you the almost daily circumstances that have happened over the past couple of months that have confirmed in our hearts that this is His will, but this thing is getting way too long already. 

So after a couple meetings and lots of prayer, that brings us to a few weeks later when we got the call that we were welcomed aboard to Children's Hope ministries. Children's Hope is a ministry out of First Baptist Church, Montgomery.  You can read more about them here, but the ministry began as a way to care for the orphans in Jacmel, Haiti.  There are 24 children currently at the orphanage.  And there are teams from the United States that go almost every week, working with the kids, doing construction, going out into the community and sharing the gospel, working with local pastors and churches, you name it! All with the goal of spreading the name of Jesus throughout Haiti…it is such a wonderful ministry!

Johnny and I will move to Jacmel sometime in February and will live at the mission house (that teams stay in) for about 6 months.  We will learn some Haitian Creole, the culture of the area, and all the things that Children's Hope does in Jacmel.  We will then begin to help implement an extension of CH in another town called Jeremie, on the north shore of the southern peninsula of Haiti. 

We do not take this task lightly and we realize we must continually rely on the Lord and His wisdom each step of the way.  If I start to think about it in human terms, I get completely scared and helpless.  But I know He has guided us thus far, and He will continue to! I think one of the most amazing things about this journey has been just the joy and privilege to feel God's presence and a distinct and specific guiding.  This is so humbling and I am just so grateful.  "He leadeth me, O blessed thought!" The mere fact that my faith and trust has been strengthened has made it all worth it! And I know He's not done with me yet.  I'm sure there will be more challenges and heartaches and battles ahead, but we know who we serve, and He has not failed us yet.  And we know He never will. 

If you were to tell me a year ago that I would be writing this post, I might have thought you were crazy.  But that just goes to show that we can plan out our lives in the way we think they should go, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21) He establishes our steps (Prov. 16:9) and His ways are so much higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

Psalm 103:11- For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear him.

This song says better than I can the way I have felt most days:

You call me out upon the waters


The great unknown where feet may fail


And there I find You in the mystery


In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name


And keep my eyes above the waves


When oceans rise


My soul will rest in Your embrace


For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters


Your sovereign hand will be my guide


Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me


You've never failed and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders


Let me walk upon the waters, 
Wherever You would call me


Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander


And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

(Hillsong- Oceans)

We look forward with great anticipation of the future! We know God is up to something and we can't wait to see what else He has in store for us.  What an amazing and faithful Father we serve.

I'm sure there will be more posts as I think of other things to share, so stay tuned!

Johnny and I in Haiti, April 2013

No trial is deeper than Your love

One month ago we got the call that we had been chosen to be parents of a little girl.  She was to be born any day and we were to be prepared.  Our hearts jumped for joy and the tears began to flow.  Johnny and I immediately fell in love with this little girl that we had never even met. Immediately we began preparing to be her parents, and though it was a hectic few days, we were soaring with delight and running on adrenaline.  We slept well and delighted of the thought of a little girl in our household.

Five days from the day we got that first call, we got the final word that the birth mother of this little girl was going to keep her.  Just like that, it was over.  In a matter of moments, parenthood was stripped from us.  We were broken and crushed.  Though we knew this was a possibility for a couple of days, the final blow hit us hard.  We kept thinking that there was hope and that God was somehow going to "come through for us."  My faith was tested like never before.  The questions came.

"Lord, are you really good?" 

"Are you really sovereign?

"Why would You allow this heartache to come to us?" 

"What are you doing, God?" 

"Why couldn't we have just bypassed this whole situation if 

You knew this mother was just going to keep her baby?" 

"What do I do now?"

Though our hearts still hurt from the loss, we rest and delight in the Lord who never fails us.  Our faith has been strengthened and refined.  He has been with us the whole way.  (Isaiah 43:2)  What started out as questions has turned into a resounding proclamation that the Lord IS good. He IS Sovereign.  And he has NEVER failed us.  Not once!  Could He change His character now? Could He change the way He has been from eternity past? No and No.  The Lord continues to be a gracious Father who only gives good gifts to His children.  Do I understand everything that went on and why? Absolutely not.  I may never know.  I think about Job and his sufferings--he never learned of why he had to endure trial.  But I also know he gained a new understanding of who God was and learned that the presence of God was worth more than anything else.  (See Job 42: 5) God's presence was Job's solace. 

We had said all along that we were plan B for this child.  The best case scenario was that this little girl be raised and cherished by her birth parents.  And we are trusting God that this is what is happening today.  We have no doubts that the birth mother is a good mom and we are praying that her dad continues to be involved in her life and teaches her the way of Christ.  
The question that still remains is "What do I do now?"  I keep living life.  I let God get me out of bed every morning and I seek His face.  I still have trouble working on "baby" or "nursery" stuff because all I can picture is a little girl that we thought would be here by now.  It still hurts and there is healing that remains to occur.  But I can face each day with trust in a God who sacrificed everything so that I might know Him and follow Him.  

For five days I got a glimpse of what motherhood feels like.  Even though we have been in the adoption process for a while, it wasn't until we got that call that it felt real. Like we were actually getting somewhere.  So for five days I cherished this child and realized what it felt like to truly put a life ahead of my own...trying to figure out what would be best for her when we brought her home...seeking counsel on how to care for her.  It was such a humbling experience.  To know and feel the love a mother feels for her child was so amazing.  I long to feel that way again.  And for more than 5 days.  But I trust that God will bring that about in His time.  He will redeem the days that we have spent longing for children.  

The Lord gave me a song before we knew the end result of this adoption and I didn't know why.  I see now how he was preparing me to let go and trust His hand in this.
It was written by Lauren Chandler called "Though You Slay Me" (HERE is her version) and it is also performed by Shane & Shane (click for their version).  It has been healing for me.  I pray it would bless others who are struggling in their own doubts and questions.
Read the lyrics and story HERE.  She says at the end, "And the tears that just can't stop will be dried forever by His tender, nail-scarred hand. It is then that we will know exactly how 'it was worth it all'"

Christ is so worth it. He is so worth the pain and the heartache of this past month.  I wouldn't trade those five days, even though I so wished it would have ended differently.  I have come to know the Lord in a new way, a way only learned through suffering and trial.  James 1:2-4 "Count it all joy, my brothers when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.  And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

Johnny's Graduation!

Two weeks ago we went up to Wake Forest, North Carolina for Johnny's graduation!

It was such a fun time to see all his hard work at this degree come to a close. 

I was so proud to watch him walk across that stage! He has worked tirelessly for the past 3 years to finish his Masters. It was also fun to visit the campus and reminisce on the semester we spent there.  We realized that we had some great times, but we are thankful the Lord called us back to Opp to serve at Westview Baptist.

           


I am so blessed to be married to Johnny Warren.  He is the hardest working man that I know.  If you know Johnny he likes to work hard physically and get things done.  But you also know that Johnny works hard at relationships and just loves people!  He is such a peace-maker and never divisive.  I love that about him.  He leads our family well and I learn so much from him everyday.  I love serving the Lord alongside him and I look forward to seeing where God continues to use Johnny and our family!

Why Adoption?

“Adoption is a beautiful picture of redemption. 

It is the Gospel in my living room.” 
-Katie Davis, Kisses from Katie

I read this quote well over a year ago, when God was just beginning to really work in our hearts about adoption.  I never understood what adopting babies had to do with God or the Gospel.  I mean, I think in my mind I knew that there were a couple verses about orphans, but honestly, that just wasn't "my thing."  I was just gonna have a couple of babies that were either red-headed or, hopefully in my mind, ones that looked just like their daddy. But that's not what God had in mind.  And I'm learning that adoption is not just about having a cute Christmas card with lots of beautiful, different looking children. If that is the goal, I've got the wrong motivation. Thankfully, the Lord has shown us HIS heart for adoption, and that motivates us. Compels us. Moves us.

Through a variety of circumstances, our gracious God showed us the absolutely stunning beauty of adoption.  And what does the Gospel have to do with it? One thing that God used was a book by Russell Moore, called Adopted for Life: the Priority of Adoption for Christian Families & Churches.  In this book, Moore discusses OUR Biblical adoption (along with practical tips for adopting).  Did you know that if you are in Christ, you are an adopted child of God? I mean, we all hear "Yeah! We're a part of the family of God! High five!" and then live our lives as usual.  But this is so huge. You are welcomed into His family, as a co-heir with His Son, Jesus!  How great is the love the Father has, that we should be called children of GOD?! Do we really know the value of having God as our Father?  

"But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts crying, 'Abba! Father!' So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God." Galatians 4:4-7

The Gospel & Adoption

So who were we before God adopted us into His family? God looked upon a helpless creature, one who had no hope. The Bible even says we were " by nature children of wrath." We were running away from God. "BUT GOD!" Ephesians 2 says, 

"being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 

even when we were dead in our trespasses, 

made us alive together with Christ--

by grace you have been saved." 

We were helpless. The beauty of the gospel is that there was nothing we could have done to save ourselves. Nothing.  It was all Christ. Just like you can't choose to bring yourself from death into life, you can't choose to save yourself.  It only comes from acknowledging that everything necessary for salvation was completed in the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ.  God chose you purposefully to be a part of His huge story of redemption. 

Do you see the similarities & parallels? A child with no hope. A specific and purposeful choosing.  A welcoming into a new family. A forever family. 

-------------------------

Another circumstance that God used in our life was a sweet, sweet couple that lived in our area for about a year (come back!!) that were in the process of adopting a beautiful little girl.  Their heart for orphans and parenting in general blew me away.  To see the joy of going through the process, expanding their family for the glory of God, the opportunities they had to share the Gospel through it, all of it made me think "wow, this is a truly amazing thing God allows us to be a part of!" It also made me think, "this might be something that God calls us to...one day."  :)

Now Johnny and I don't boast in what we are doing as some kind of great humanitarian act. We approach this humbly, with our faces on the ground, knowing we would not have even thought about adopting if God hadn't first saved us and then specifically called us to do this.  So do we believe everyone in the church is called to adopt a child?  No. But we do believe that you should at least pray about it.  James 1:27 says, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."  ("visit" literally means to look upon in order to help or benefit; to look after, have care for, provide for).  So this is our way of being obedient to this passage. What is yours?

News!
All that to say, we are officially approved and waiting for our child, who will come to us from the USA. We are working with Lifeline Children's Services, an agency out of the ministry of Sav-a-Life.  We absolutely love our agency and the people we have worked with.  They love Jesus and love on these birth mothers and counsel them and disciple them, all aiming at sharing Christ with them!

Please continue to pray for us. Pray for our birth mother (although we do not know of her yet), for the baby, and for God's continued grace to us during this process.  It has been a great experience thus far, but we are are just now at the actual waiting point where it is all out of our hands!  Thank you for the prayers and the love.  The love we have already been showed by giving, prayer, and simply just being friends and being interested in adoption has blessed us greatly.  What a joy it is to walk in obedience to God and already see how he is using this little one to bring much glory to Himself! And I can't wait to see how this will continue.  I heard David Platt say one time that the adoption isn't over when the judge declares the child is officially yours and you bring him or her home; that's when it really begins!

I know that was really long, but I'm not really a blogger, so I don't expect to come here and write a whole lot!  But I know many of you were curious (because you've asked!) And honestly, thank you for asking.  We want you to be curious. We want you to understand what it means to be a part of God's family. And we would love it if you would pray and ask God how you can be involved in showing mercy to orphans all over the world. 

Amy

"In You the orphan finds mercy" -Hosea 14:3